| can’t afford love |

All of these years, I’ve been under the impression that there is some fancy formula to dating. Television and books have ingrained in my head that the hopeless romantic in me will one day be satiated with a relationship of epic magnitude. Some young woman will catch my eye, leading me to work harder than I’ve ever worked before to get said woman to pay me some attention. Once I have her attention, it’s straight to impressing her with my razor sharp wit, and my undeniable charm, (I’m trying to get myself through this fantasy, just bear with me. It’s easier if I’m SUPER desirable 😉 ) and my intense romanticism. Gesture after heartwarming gesture would assure her of my feelings for her and would lead to the ultimate opportunity for reciprocation (with a side of meaningful relationship!).  I thought I’d be like one of my favorite tv characters…


Ted Mosby, Architect. This guy is on a never ending (I hope CBS!) quest to find and meet the mother of his children. Every week he weaves an intricate web of experiences into a story that will eventually lead us to how he finally encountered this woman. Ted is a hopelessly crazy romantic. He has the distinct ability to raise flowers from the crappiest situation, all because he is optimistic and believes strongly in the idea of love.  He is one to make really grand and extravagant gestures when necessary, to woo whatever woman is in his sights.

I have ideas of giving some woman caviar courting, but I’m working with a top ramen style budget. It is kinda hard to just get together with my friends (non-romantic style) without spending any money. How am I supposed to sweep someone off their feet with a dusty, frayed, hand-me-down broom!?pennies I’m out of ideas of how I can raise some funds. I mean, I already have all of my adult teeth, so I can rule out making one of those special calls to the tooth fairy. It’d be wrong to sell a kidney or something on the black market right? Gosh, yes it would be. I’m just kidding! Avert those judgmental stares! I feel like I’d need to be pulling in some Bill Gates dollars to even try to jump into the dating game these days. I can hear some people already writing me off. PENCILS DOWN! Just hear me out! I know it’s possible to woo someone without spending lots of money, but I get the distinct impression that lots of young ladies would come to find that boring. Who wants to stay inside again, because I need to feed this nasty habit of staying warm in the winter under a roof? Maybe that’s just my Los Angeles mentality speaking to me. I’m sure there are lots of girls who would love nothing more than just sitting with a wonderful guy, watching a movie he owns and calling it a night.  My question would just be: where are these women?! Why am I not finding them?!

To be fair, I did recently go out on a wonderful date with a delightful young lady. It was a great evening, I took her to a hip, trendy, happening restaurant in the heart of midtown Sacramento. Afterwards, we went to go see a really awesome musical production at a cabaret theater downtown. We finished the evening off with a chat and some sweets at a dessert diner. Both parties enjoyed themselves. I did actually ask for verification and that was the general opinion offered. However, it took a long time to be able to get the financial backing for such an outing. I don’t want to say how much it actually cost altogether, because that doesn’t matter. What mattered is that I was able to make my date for the evening feel special.

After a conversation with a friend of mine, I got the impression that it is necessary for such shows of  interest. He told me how his girlfriend sometimes got saddened because there were lots of things that she wanted him to take her out to do. He, however is not made out of money (and is currently looking for work), so he has to decide to make things really low key. One of her biggest complaints is that he doesn’t take her out anywhere. His smaller complaint about her is that she doesn’t want to contribute monetarily to them as a couple, more than she does to herself. This adds to their indoors only dates.

Honestly, one of the things holding me back from doing more dating is that I feel like I should be able to afford to take a lady out and show her a nice time. A McDonald’s date is not an option for me (thanks Reneé for reminding me of that! You keep me from shooting myself in the foot). I kinda get the idea that if that is what I’m waiting for, then I’m going to be having a lot more single years ahead of me.  Guess I have that prince charming syndrome, only in guy version… Someday, I’ll knock some sense into myself. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep coming up with ways to make myself disgustingly wealthy, so I can pull the sugar daddy act…

One thought on “| can’t afford love |

  1. Justin, I think the situation you’re describing increases in intensity once you’re out of the college scene, so I validate your laments. However, I do think there ARE indoor, low-key ladies out there because I am one of them. Also, there are things you can do on the cheap, you just have to get creative. How about a picnic at Capitol Park? Make some sandwiches, pack some fruit and drinks, and take the bus down there. The park is pretty big and there’s a lot of walking to be done, plus free tours of the capitol building. Also, you can walk around downtown…there is the library and other state buildings that you can enter and explore for free. The secretary of state building is pretty cool actually and has a museum with changing exhibitions. Just make sure you dont drive down there b/c parking is a bitch (and expensive, which we are avoiding). There are also second saturdays in midtown, free local music in the park…again you can take the bus (and just say its to avoid crazy parking). Also: http://www.free-attractions.com/sacramento.htm/. This is totally trite but I think true: the “right” girl isn’t going to care that you aren’t made of money, she’s going to be elated just to be with you (at least for the first 6 months or so 😉 ).

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