You’re out for a night of fun with your friends. All is going well, you’re at the club and you’re diggin’ the music, the drinks are flowing, and everyone is having a good time. All of the sudden, you see them. They’re chillin in a dark corner of the room. They think they’re away from everyone else, out of sight. The exact opposite is true… The whole club has a view of the action happening over there and it’s really just like watching a car accident. It’s nothing but bad, however you can’t help but glance over and over at it. You’re witnessing another drunken episode of kiss abusing! Yes, the couple in the corner is going at it like they’re in the privacy of their own home. The problem is that they’re in quite the public place. They’re just putting on a show for those who either have stomachs strong enough to handle such gratuitous displays of affection, or are pervy enough to want to check out the the tongue wrestling match until one of the parties decides it’d be better to move on to a different venue.
we’ve all seen it. we might have all even been a part of something like that. Making a scene somewhere, where the best of us have let our discretion slip just a bit. I must admit, I have been part of some of these ridiculous shenanigans.
This has made me think about something however.
Today I was thinking about kissing. Not in the dirty, I-want-to-get-some-more-of-that-action type way. I was thinking about how intimate a kiss can be.
Some people regard kissing to be one of the most sexual things that a couple can do. I know some people who have decided that it was so intimate, that they didn’t want to do it until they were married. Kissing is like a gateway drug. It can lead to delightful interactions, or it can be the bane of one’s night. There is so much energy packed into a good kiss. A bad one will leave the participants wanting to hit the door, forgetting what has just taken place. If there is one thing that people remember forever in their lives, it’s their first kiss. Whether it was a good one, simple and sweet, or if it was a terrible one. Wet, slimy, and all over the place, it’s just one of those interesting firsts that we keep with us.
I just think about what a kiss means. A kiss can be the sign of interest. It can be the invitation to a connection between two people that might lead to a relationship. It’s a sign of trust on both parts. The kisser, trusts the person enough to be a bit vulnerable in their approach of them. The kissee is allowing the other person to get close enough to them to attempt such a bold move. There is usually a mutual invitation into one’s personal space. This is a big thing in itself, because personal space is such a big deal in our culture. It can take as much as a few months/years of familiarity or as little as a few *ahem* adult beverages.
It’s a little disconcerting that kisses are generally not regarded that highly. I know that a lot of people really like kissing, but it’s just one of those “stepping stones” on the way to bigger things. That being said, I must admit that I have been a kiss abuser! I know it doesn’t seem like I could get anyone to kiss me (if you really thought that, then forget you “friend!”. I’m delightful, dammit!). I have been known to kiss people who I wasn’t necessarily dating yet. I was in pursuit of these people, but definitely wasn’t their boyfriend. It’s occurring to me that perhaps I should ditch Jemaine and Bret’s idea that a kiss is not a contract. Maybe it should be.
A friend of mine informed me that if you are friends with a person and things somehow progress to you being romantically involved with that person, it’s hard to go back over the line. For something that holds so much potential weight, you’d think that it ought to be taken a bit more seriously. I once entertained ideas of not kissing until I got married. Maybe saving it for just when the pastor says that I may kiss my bride. That way we both know that I’m actually trying to work towards something other than just getting some action.
Just a little “think about it” friends… Don’t be kiss abusers! Kiss responsibly. If you see your friends abusing kisses, call them out on it!