Blindly, I stumbled into a conversation with a couple of friends last week. we got onto the topic of dating. (I know, I know. You don’t want to read another blog entry about dating, you’ve already read all that you could read about dating… to that I say, shut your pie hole and hear me out dammit!)
There is an old adage about how a woman deserves to be treated like a queen. I’m pretty sure that this idea was put out there with the greatest of intentions. I think over the years, some things have been distorted/perverted. There has been a public infection amongst the men of the world. This infection is called selfishness. We are quite concerned about what’s in something for us. We are afraid of doing something because of what it could mean. As my favorite radio personality, Dr. Laura would say: we want the goods, but don’t want the commitment. Back in the day, a man was willing to wait and was expected to make some sacrifice to show himself worthy of a woman’s time. These days, the men folk are seemingly expecting it to be so easy to win over a woman, they barely even try anymore. If I hear one more guy yelling out: “hey shawty!” or whistling at some girl to get their attention, I might just end it all right there on the spot.
What ever happened to the days where a guy would actually woo a young lady? Is it so wrong to make a woman feel so special that she cherishes the time that you spend with her? Is there something wrong with treating a young woman the way that someone special to us would want to be treated? It isn’t a crime to give a woman the idea that you are willing to work for her company. Being desired is something that makes people feel good. I would agree that there is a distinct line between showing that there is interest and being a creep. Lately, I’m just seeing jerks running around trying to “get it in” instead of really valuing the time and opinion of a woman. This would include asking a woman out on a date, instead of waiting for her to make the first move. I know that it might seem nice to have that happen, but it really just makes her the aggressor, which isn’t always a great thing. Men, we’re supposed to do the wooing…
On the flip side of that, I can see that many guys have the pain of big rejection stamped across their foreheads. It’s not an easy thing to continue to walk into the storm, looking for something and being turned away. Some people might think: “It’s only a no” but at the same time, the reason that men seem to be the ones who are supposed to put themselves out there is because most women refuse to do it. They refuse to make themselves look foolish, but they have no sympathy or feelings for men when we decide to do it and they aren’t interested. There are many better ways to deal with how to say no ladies. Have a little more feeling why don’t you? It’s not very easy to continually get up the courage and whatnot just to be bitterly rejected.
My other gripe with the lady folk. Do not just sit and expect some man to want to win you over just on the virtue that you may or may not be awesome. Yes, we know that you are attractive, but that’s not enough to carry you over the hill. You need to be willing to give a guy a reason to want to pursue you. I can’t guarantee that even the best guy will stick with it, if you aren’t displaying reasons why he should be interested. I know it’s a cliché, but beauty really is fleeting. You might be the most beautiful woman ever, but with a horrible attitude/disposition, it’s not worth dealing with. A real man should want someone that they can stand with side by side. They don’t want someone that they’re going to have to take care of. Also, be willing to reciprocate! Men aren’t the only ones who should be working to keep any passion alive in a relationship. Ladies, you should be bringing it too! Don’t rely on the man to be doing all the work. That’s how we get bored and decide that something isn’t really worth the effort anymore.
It isn’t too much to ask to be the type of person that someone else would want to date is it? I think that is the basic rule of things. Instead of wasting your time trying to pick out the different criteria from which you pick a dating partner, focus on the things that you can do to be a great contributor to a relationship. I can guarantee that making yourself into a desirable person is much easier than trying to change the people around you. That could be perfectly impossible.
Things were much better when people were actually concerned about how they presented themselves to others, instead of just being selfish.