| the impossible happens… |


We interrupt your normal blog reading with the following news that is just breaking: Justin is now an adult!!! Repeat: Justin is now an adult! Fear and terror are  springing up all around him. Upon realizing this, he has reverted to a childlike mentality, and has locked himself in his room; listening to many songs from the 80’s.

Back to your regular reading…

When the hell did this happen?! Was the sandman secretly stealing years from me as I lay defenseless before his power? (how dare you sandman! I shake my fist at you!) I thought my Peter Pan syndrome would keep me young forever. Thanks for a head full of lies and broken dreams Disney. I’m not a fan of having to do things like a real life grown person.
When did I sign up for this? Responsibility and I have some work to do on our newly minted relationship.
So vivid are the memories of my first school dance, my first phone call to a girl, and the subsequent feeling of the awkwardness of that particular conversation. The small dramas of my youth come back to me with the fondness of a nostalgic haze. Everything was so much simpler then, so much more beautiful.

I feel like I started college yesterday. I met melody yesterday! Yesterday, literally, I realized that my best friend had gained that position over 8 years ago! Not only have I a horrible sense of time, but I’m OLD!

This past weekend, I turned 27. This is still young to many people, as 30 is the new 20. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’m spinning further and further out of control in a spiral of maturity and life altering decisions. Some of the questions of my youth (post-college) are starting to materialize. I have a nice job that I don’t hate. I am living in a place that I love (Oakland), I’m close to a large city that I’ve always wanted to be near to (San Francisco). I’m finally at a place where I’m setting myself up for the rest of my life. This life which is coming at me way too fast for my liking, but that I shall dominate like I do with everything else I come across…

I recently engaged in conversation with my friend Tara, and heard her talk about how she trudged through the last year (kickin’ and screamin’) to come to the realization that it was all necessary to set up this year and where she was going now. She has a great job, and is set to start being self sufficient. My parents disowned me financially when I was 19. I did realize that I was stuck at my college job for a while. Tara helped me to se that I was stuck in my development time… I made some moves and now I’m positioning myself in a place where I can truly network and learn some things that will help me take my life to the next level.

I have a head full of different kinds of dreams now. I’m looking to establish myself as a hard worker, someone who will be an asset to any company that will give me the time of day. I’m also looking to make sure that I don’t lose my youthful exuberance in the face of growing older and learning why the older people that I knew were always just a little bit jaded.

I’ve begun to grow up, but I don’t remember giving myself permission to start this journey. Sometimes I guess these things just happen. There’s no way that I can stop natural progression, but because I’m a rebel, I have to do my best to slow things down a bit…

I’m out…

2 thoughts on “| the impossible happens… |

  1. yeah dude. i know i have a while to go before I am where you are… but I was just thinking about entering the real world and being, well, an ADULT! aghh i had this image of my head of me being middle aged and i just FREAKED OUT haha

    • it’s craziness Amber! However, I’m glad to know that you’re still reading my blog! Even though I put up some semi ridiculous thoughts 😉

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