The following blurb is a true story…
Way back in the day… (like a million years ago… what? it’s true!)
I was just a young college boy. I was more like a nice 3rd year student. I had just joined this nice Christian fellowship and I was getting to know people in the fellowship and I met this girl.
She was awesome. She was funny, she was sassy like (I have a weakness for the sassy I suppose.)
Wait. Not goin’ down like that. This isn’t that kind of entry.
The thing is that, I didn’t say anything about it. For quite a while. As a matter of fact, I thought that I was doing the best thing. If I just kinda let it pass, I would maybe have no problems. I would even just wait and get to know her better. All the while I was thinking too much about how cool she was and how much more I should just hold back on saying anything to her about what I thought. The big problem was that, all this thinking didn’t help anything out. Basically, I just chilled out until I really couldn’t take it anymore. Then I had a nice chat with her, basically spilling all my thoughts and feelings out to her. Nothing happened of course. She didn’t like me in the same way.
No biggie right? Wrong. The problem is that I spent a whole heck of a lot of time building this girl up in my head. So much time in fact, that I had missed out on a couple of good opportunities with some other really awesome girls. Girls who I liked, but who didn’t measure up to Shannon (that was her name). I had the most awkward time trying to get past this person who I spent so much time building up. Unfortunately, that also cost me some future cool stuff too.
So, my friends and I often wonder what makes things so awkward for Christians trying to date. They kinda wonder about what keeps guys from making any moves with people. I won’t be able to answer for every guy, but I’m sure that I’m not the only one who feels like this.
Sometimes, it’s hard to discern whether or not there’s any interest on the girl’s end. The Christian ladies can be so nice sometimes, that it’s confusing. There is always that whole complaint about the fear of rejection. Rejection isn’t nice, but the bigger thing is the possibility of being rejected and losing the chance to be a friend with someone. It’s such a more daunting possibility than getting rejected altogether. We spend all this time getting to know a girl, and hanging out with them, that it just seems like it’d be better to just stay quiet about things than to deal with any awkwardness. So, we end up just hanging, and pining. Until we basically can’t hold back anymore, and then it’s just a martini glass of awkward (shaken, not stirred.)
Pining. That’s the key key word. Pining is like set up for failure in the mind. Can’t spend too much time thinking about things. Thinking = no good. The problem with pining is that you allow yourself to have false hopes about things. You build stuff up in your head that isn’t true. Being infatuated, might be ok, crushes… awesome (actually, that’s debatable.) Pining however, that’s like falling in love with someone without them coming along for the ride. One sided action is a bit scary (especially the results, for the lady folk).
So NO PINING. Thinking too much is bad!
Guys, we can’t keep wasting away like this. Time to stop building up these misleading friendships and just keep it real from the beginning. Asking people out probably isn’t as bad as you might think.