Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?
– Joni Mitchell
For far too long, I know that I have taken you for granted. I didn’t realize what a true blessing you were to me. Our relationship was one of predictability for me. My end of the bargin was to keep myself busy during the day. You never asked any questions about what it was that I did. You never cared what kind of trouble I got myself into, as long as I came home to you. Back in the glory days, I would always have a good 8-9 hours a night to devote to only you. I know you loved the attention and I really enjoyed how much you helped me out. I was so addicted to you that I couldn’t do anything without my nightly hit. On really bad days, people could tell just how much I was missing you. For some reason, it always read on my face and in my actions. I would just drag along.
Somewhere along the way, I somehow got too big for you. I don’t know how I thought it was possible that I could outgrow you, but I tried my hardest to get along without you. I know it was wrong. I just figured that I had to be more productive, I don’t know where I got the idea that I had to push you away to do that. It really was a stupid decision. Even though I had been neglecting prolonged time with you, I always flirted with you during the day. I know that wasn’t our usual time, but you were missing me so much, that you would take my quick teasings. You never skimped on the daydreams that you would bring me. I know I used to be so caring and attentive to you.
I miss you. I don’t want things to be like this anymore. If you’re willing to take me back, I’ll make sure things are different. I won’t prolong things until late in the evenings anymore. I am willing to make you a real priority. No more self-righteous, “I can get what I want from you, when I want it” attitude. I’m going to make some real time for you. EVERY NIGHT I will embrace your sweet company and appreciate it for what it is. A gift, and a lifeline.
I know I’ve made some mistakes, but I will be better… For you… For Me.
Please accept my apology…