| My agitator (An Open Letter) |

As was evidenced by this post: My Apology, I have a special relationship with sleep. This is another open letter, dedicated to Sleep’s bastard cousin, Travel Sleep.

Dear Travel Sleep,

We were mutually oblivious for most of my formative years. I was either way too excited about the possibility of going somewhere new, or I was able to ignore your wiles. Whatever it was, you were not affecting me and I didn’t know the difference between you and your younger, more attractive cousin. Me and Sleep go waaay back. We have been off an on for a while, but I have never lost the love that I have for her. I roam the streets on her a bit, and psuh her to the limits, but I always give her a little bit of my time. Things have been better lately. I’ve began trying to keep a regular schedule to our dates (which sounds like it would become stagnant, but she really adores predictability).

As I grew older, I began to desire my own trips, and with those trips came restlessness. My attention span grew much shorter, which led to immense desires to sleep instead of being bored to death. Of course, I tried to turn to my tried and true sweetheart, Sleep. What I found instead was you. You teased the same benefits as the sleep that I knew, but you were so hard to obtain. As sometimes, I played with Sleep’s emotions, I thought I was just getting what I deserved. It turns out, you are a horrible, horrible tease! Hard to get, and when gotten, so unfulfilling! You use things like banshee children, bumpy train tracks, and unnecessary turbulence as your allies. A lot of time, I’m chasing you down, and sometimes (when stupidly lucky) I flirt with you, but I’m never fully in your presence (you aloof son of a bitch!)

I have denied myself travel opportunities left and right, in favor of staying with Sleep and not straying too far from her side. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired (thanks for nothing). I’m going to start bringing some reserve troops. I have a coalition of the willing (SUCKA!). I’m enlisting the help of Dramamine, Benadryl, and a newcomer called DreamWater. I’m calling this a clean divorce. You were never fully into this relationship and were holding me back. Please lose my number, and forget that I ever came storming into your life. I hate to be harsh, but I think I have found a way to bring my real love with me as I travel.

Baby, it’s not you, it’s me…

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