| Forever Alone |

There’s a funny thing that I’m noticing is happening more and more lately. I’m hearing a lot of people go around and claim how they are destined to be “forever alone” 


It’s the new craze to make sure that people know that you are single (and not going to mingle). Why this is a popular craze, I could not answer. For me, this falls somewhere between the infamous duckface and the famously stupid forever lazy

I think the thing that makes me so upset with these things is that the people who are claiming this  (whether serious or not) are people who are definitely not deserving of the title. For example, I have a co-worker who always declares that she is forever alone. She’s been in a committed relationship for quite a while and at least for right now, it looks like it will end in some kind of marriage (the current rumor is that I will be invited to this thing if it happens).

There are some single people who are reppin’ team #foreveralone. I feel like a lot of these people are just looking for a bit of attention… If there is anything that I learned from 37 viewings of the original Matrix movie (shut up, I have lots of time on my hands), it was that “humans define their existence through suffering.” I see this as nothing but a roll call for the other single people in a given area. Why they’d want to identify each other is simple… The best looking person who is also in the single boat can surely get a holla or two (right?). I more see this happen on facebook and twitter as declarations where people can comment or retweet in solidarity. Of course, I’m guilty of having retweeted something like this as recently as last night… 

In general, I’m finding that this is coming from attractive young ladies and handsome gents. This further goes to blow my mind, because most of the people who are exclaiming inclusion in this club have no real reason that they’d be single. I mean, everyone has a story, but c’mon, son! You have awesome eyes and a six pack. Who’s really turning you down for dates? 

I guess I’m more thinking that the people who are truly forever alone are not going out and declaring it to all. Think about it… If you were some unfortunate style beowulf lookin’ character, would you really be reveling in the fact that you are sad and lonely? That’s not something that I would want to be exposing to the rest of the general population. If there are people following me that I know in real life, I wouldn’t want to exclaim that, for fear of being exposed. I know for sure that I have the type of friends who are jerky enough to point out the reasons for my dating solitude. Who wants to hear that they’re single because they have unmanageable dandruff? I don’t need the world to know that I have tea parties with my cats sometimes (all my friends are often busy, ok!). I feel like this is not territory that the people who really are forever alone are willing to venture into. If I were to play devil’s advocate though, I guess it could be argued that the people who are really possessing this title are not equipped with friends good enough to even embarrassingly expose them for their flaws and exploit their insecurities (I’ll show you all, someday). 

This is all an elaborate ploy to make sure that maybe single people are represented and identified for some good ol’ human interaction. Who knows… Just a thought.

Damn you pretty peoples!

One thought on “| Forever Alone |

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