How’d I get h… Hold on.

What’s the hot new show that you’re into?

Oh? Me? Nothing! I haven’t been catching up on anything!

You know what I realized? I have a very short attention span. I can barely keep myself interested. Why am I even writing this? (you want people to read and connect with you, Justin. Duh).

Remember when Television shows were 24 episode mini-series style? I had the patience of a monk. I remember waiting with bated breath for each episode of How I Met Your Mother each week. Remember that show? If you do, I love, you! Let’s be friends. If not, you should check it out on Netflix Hulu. Twas my favorite and I feel like I grew up (into my 30s) with it! It also felt like forever before I would be able to get the next bit of joy from Barney and Co. That might have been largely because I could never figure out CBS and the mountain time zone (seriously! 8pm or 7pm?!).

Now we have the joy of being able to consume a whole season of some shows all at once. I have literally spent a whole summer watching Friends, just because I could. Before you judge me, it was a long summer before I could watch any new Marvel tv after I had finished Jessica Jones, let’s be real. So you know, I did what I had to do. That’s right! I stepped up!

Or was that Joey? Ahem. Anyways. You can just waste a weekend and get caught up (because 3 days after a premiere makes you behind on things). Even with that, I find it hard to get started with anything new, simply because I can’t find it in me to sit still for anything other than movies or sporting events.

Somehow, this even translates into being distracted when I’m with people.

“I’mma let you finish, but MKBHD just posted his crispiest video to date! It’s all about mini electric skateboards and I wish that I could afford one.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your bad day. KLAY FOR THREE!!! Tell me more about what went wrong”. In the middle of this rousing (read: convicting) example, you probably got a text message that requires your attention. Go ahead. I’ll wait for you.

Hey, took you longer to get back than you thought, right? Good thing I’m just the writer. That break was about 3 return keys worth of pause for me. 😀

Everything that’s out there these days, is all about distraction. We’ve developed this need to be constantly engaged with something(s). I can’t tell you how many times I enter a pause in conversation, or become the impassive voice in a group, then jump on my phone for engagement. People get on the bus, or on BART and instantly jump into whatever entertainment is on the 4 inch screen in their hands (ugh, fine. 6+ inch screen, you size queens). There’s something to be said about how it’s kinda impossible to be focused on something and only that thing.

What does it look like to give something/someone see undivided attention? Not in that: “I’m-clingy-and-can’t-let-you-breathe” kinda way. I’m that: “I’m-into-what-you’re-saying” or “I’m-feeling-what-we’re-doing” type way. Is it really that uncool to not have like 12 options at once? Is it lame, because what I’m doing at the moment is really all that I have going on? I think I read somewhere that to many options available can make you unhappy (that sounded scientific enough to ease my lameness).

Of course, I write this because I’m intrigued. I’m terrible at focusing myself. I’m literally writing right now, on my phone, as I’m riding BART. I am secretly hoping that looking busy and having headphones on will be enough for this “Nosy Nellie” on my right, to keep her eyes focused on something else. Also, the trip is boring. I need to distract myself from other conversations happening, or these damn bone breaking dancers with their shenanigans. I really want to just pick up, fly somewhere, and settle for a week. Somewhere where I can practice this focus. Being with myself and dealing with the thoughts that will come up, allowing myself to not be distracted.

Sounds scary, right?

Sounds like a vacation to me.

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